Part 9: Broken Cash Machine

Rochfale Tunnel isn't actually an interesting cave. Sorry for the cliffhanger.


By the way, this is the third trainer in a row to use a Dearewl.

I replaced the trainer battle music again.

OFSelects: Daft Punk: Aerodynamic


Finally, a Modrille to call our own. The person who named this wanted to call him Conehead but accidentally typed Comehead. I went with that because, actually, this Modrille's job is to fuck.

I also replaced the wild Pokemon music too.

OFSelects: T. Rex: Thunderwing


Thank goodness, a trainer who decides to say fewer words rather than more!


Gligar are here too. They're unchanged from the official games, so they're still resilient punks with good typing and a really broad movepool, though lacking a ground move without TMs hurts their immediate prospects.



PU-Beachdesert.ogg

This does raise an interesting question. Is Route 7 a beach, a desert, or a both?


There's a rest house near the entrance that has the Pokemon center functions about which we care.

This is nice, because every sand tile can have random encounters.


A coconut crab!


Heh heh heh.


OH MY GOD








Buttplug's leveling off of the Exp. Share. Cubblfly learns both of these moves at the same level. Both are powders and are nullified by grass-types, but Buttplug's a bug so it'll work out. I hope.


I have a full set of evolution stones from the photographer, but I feel like saying, hey, look at this.

Chekov's stone.


Imagine six other NPCs say this with varying levels of creepy. That's what we're told about Cali, Bealbeach's gym leader.


Corsola shows up to disappoint even in fan games...


This trainer is unusual in that he asks politely.


Behind him is the fighting-boosting hold item. My Fursona needed something to hold up his distressed blue jeans.


Li'l snail. The sandcastle on its back is sort of a suggestion at this point, but don't worry, it'll evolve.



It's not every day you can click an image in this LP, so go for it this time!


Route 7 is kinda sprawling and the constant random encounters, though not dangerous, can be disorienting. This bridge is the sign you're on the right track because...


Theo shows up!


Theo has a PST too, this is relevant! (jk it never comes up)


Of course since we're rivals we must battle.


I changed Theo's battle music too, since, well, I'm not using any horses at the moment.

OFSelects: Weatherbox: Pagan Baby


He has this baby grass bird thing? It's fast with good special attack but its move list hasn't gone anywhere yet. Being pure-grass, Dumbledore wrecks it and drinks its vital fluids.


She sorta curbstomps Theo's team in general. The advantages of being fully evolved, I guess.


Theo barely holds back his tears before resolving to beat the next gym before Dick Solomon.




Oh HELL yeah, the other reason I evolved Dumbledore so early is that Vilucard learns this at level 25. Our first singature move (only Minyan and Vilucard learn it) and our first move created for Uranium, it's Giga Drain but physical and dark, and it is gonna be Dumbledore's bread and butter forever. With Blood Lust it has an effective 2/3 drain, giving her resilience beyond what her shitty defenses imply.


Mini-cave!


It has grass with the exact same encounters as outside, and a free PP Up.




Weather effects are weird in that it's usually not worth the time to use a move for them, but abilities that automatically cause them are incredibly, incredibly powerful. Chalk it up to opportunity cost and momentum.

Harsh sunlight primarily weakens water but boosts fire moves. It activates the abilities Chlorophyll (doubles speed) and Leaf Guard (immunity to status effects) and alters a whole host of moves we've not seen.


You like this gag of a pair of trainers breaking up because they lost? It repeats two more times.


Oddly enough, the line between Route 7 and Bealbeach City is here.



PU-Bealbeach_City.ogg

It's a remix of Lilycove City from Ruby & Sapphire. But with this instrumentation it sounds like The Always Sunny in Philadelphia theme song.


It has a casino. The offical games may have disavowed gambling but it'll live on in fan games!


This guy sells something new for Uranium. It has the HP recovery of a Super Potion and the status restoration of a Full Heal, all in one!

It's also an evolution item for one thing.


Bealbeach is mostly skyscrapers with a beachfront that forgot to have anything fun to do without Surf.


It's the BIG WINNER of our WHERE THE FUCK IS THE POKEMON CENTER CONTEST by being in the back corner and nowhere near any mandatory location or interesting set piece! It is entirely possible to visit every other location of interest in Bealbach without even seeing it!


Remember what I said about Davern having a Cave theme? Cali has a Beach theme, which probably means the ground-types we saw on route 7 are gonna be her pals.


DID YOU LIKE CREEPIN ON WEOMN WE GOTTS IT A BUCNH HEAR IN BALLBACH


This is the location of progress, where we walk in, tell dad he sucks, then get cancer from radiation poisoning.

Ain't doin' it yet.


DID YOU KNOW

GIRLS WEAR BIKINIS

AT THE BEACH?

facts like tehse are available at the bullblech tourism center


This lady gives us a mystery egg. For some reason Uranium lets us see the typing of the baby in the egg. This one is Grass/Electric. Mysterious!


Anyway, here's the den of vice and sin.


There's an ID lottery here, where the lady must be a demon from hell because her text is red. She pulls a number, and if any of the numbers match any of the numbers of original trainer IDs of any of our Pokemon, including ones in boxes, we get something! It's once per day, and the top prize if there's a perfect match is a Master Ball, that straight up skips checks and calling the RNG and catches without fail.

I'm spelling it out now because unlike all the other traditions it mindlessly recreates, Uranium does not give the player a Master Ball at any point.


DID YOU KNOW

WOEMN

HAVE BREASTS?????

these facts and mroe at the billbitch turtlism cneter


This is the guard's justification for letting a 13-year-old youth gamble.


We can spend money to get coins, but that's lame.


There are various Pokemon as prizes, but we've seen 4 of them. The 5th though... for nearly 10k coins (cash value of 199,980 rubles)... what is it?


Also a mega stone, a mysterious object (that still has a cash value of 180,000 euros), and a bad TM. Third lady has some hold items.


...Uh huh.


This guy is on a hot streak, so he gives us $2000 worth of coins for free.


There's of course slot machines. But they're video game slot machines in that they aren't reliable for winning big and you kinda have to save scum.


There's also voltorb flip, a weird minesweeper-type thing where the numbers on each row and column tell you the total number of points but also the number of mines.

It's actually a fairly solved game, and there exist online utilities to work it out for you from the numbers and a few low-risk flips. Which means it's easy to make thousands and thousands of coins.

Which I do.


So I grab the mega stone and a few items. And a Tracton. What's a Traction?












A backhoe dragon!????!??!?!?!?